i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
