after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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