when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
