eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
