Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
