I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Randomize
