She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
We left the knife in your bed.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Randomize
