Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
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I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
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they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
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