guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
