Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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