my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
