On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
