She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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