rhymes with "ouble enetration"
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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