whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
