why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
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he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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