I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
