Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
