**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
