Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
