I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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