I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
