So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
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This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
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It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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