I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Randomize
