some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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