apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
