my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
