Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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