dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I understand Curling. That high.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species