D3 body, D1 cock
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
You're right, stupid question.
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her