Texts From Last Night

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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm starting a business if you want to get involved

  (1-781): View more from Massachusetts

  oh boy

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings

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  (781): I'm starting a business if you want to get involved (1-781): oh boy (781): Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings http://tfl.nu/e1eb
  Replies (21) Good night (2999) Bad night (512)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.

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  (207): I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole. http://tfl.nu/al7a
  Replies (16) Good night (811) Bad night (4011)
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  (818): View more from California

  I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.

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  (818): I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch. http://tfl.nu/o7me
  Replies (19) Good night (6927) Bad night (790)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes

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  (902): You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes http://tfl.nu/flaw
  Replies (26) Good night (1943) Bad night (4206)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity

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  (403): There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity http://tfl.nu/85sl
  Replies (9) Good night (3856) Bad night (1330)
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  (415): View more from California

  dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.

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  (415): dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint. http://tfl.nu/divk
  Replies (25) Good night (9218) Bad night (1232)
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  (347): View more from New York

  How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"

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  (347): How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka" http://tfl.nu/7oja
  Replies (6) Good night (5097) Bad night (828)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy

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  (717): The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy http://tfl.nu/dgrf
  Replies (8) Good night (970) Bad night (2251)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.

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  (314): You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left. http://tfl.nu/9ybp
  Replies (13) Good night (2679) Bad night (706)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ

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  (319): THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ http://tfl.nu/h11a
  Replies (15) Good night (3171) Bad night (1056)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.

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  (724): I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for. http://tfl.nu/9lin
  Replies (4) Good night (1792) Bad night (640)
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  (916): View more from California

  All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott

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  (916): All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott http://tfl.nu/2s3b
  Replies (5) Good night (973) Bad night (327)
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  (510): View more from California

  He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.

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  (510): He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public. http://tfl.nu/l5dt
  Replies (9) Good night (394) Bad night (1099)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf

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  (425): Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf http://tfl.nu/epw3
  Replies (4) Good night (348) Bad night (322)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.

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  (903): I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you. http://tfl.nu/6dmy
  Replies (1) Good night (716) Bad night (241)

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