I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize