That's when you crack a 10am beer
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
two words...techno handjob
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.