can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
