What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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