I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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