is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
