don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize