he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
