If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
