so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
