yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Randomize
