It's just like the Real World with babies
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
