And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Randomize
