My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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