I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
