im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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