I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
