i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Who put my cat in the fridge?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
