His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
My bed smells like the plague
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
