did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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