hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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