Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
