Dual....:-)
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
