I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
