so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
