I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
