I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
