when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
