just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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