I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
True but thats because hes a fetus.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I love having hate sex.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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