Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Randomize
